Tuesday, 4 March 2008


This morning I woke up feeling physically sick because a hard ball of anger and frustration was bouncing around relentlessly in my belly trying to find a way to escape and explode out into the world in a massive silent roar that would only be felt, not heard.
Now I should find out why I woke up feeling like that, but I don't want to. I just want it to go away. I know some things are frustrating me, but I don't want to focus on them. They'll only tip me over the edge. I feel like those Airbus pilots in Germany yesterday must have felt. I know something is really wrong but I hope if I just concentrate and get the job done, then all that fear and doubt and anger will be replaced by a single moment's profound relief and then a savage urge for MacDonald's or something disappointing like that.
I keep my eyes on the ball and hold my breath until this dark cloud has passed over my head and over the head of some other unfortunate sod. Negative acidic thoughts dropping from the sky shall be deflected heroically by my multi coloured south-west. I will overcome this darkness. Aha, coffee! That's what I needed. Blue skies above. My day can begin. Oh, look, a daffodil.

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